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The Dreadful Word: NO

Data: 2008-07-04 | Author: true2you


Many mothers have a hard time to learn the art of saying non-essential. It is this struggle that Mary M. Byers has devoted an entire book, "How to say no and live to tell about it", and has branded itself as "The Lady Do not." Somewhere between the age of two, was not our only vocabulary, and become an adult woman, we have forgotten the importance of saying no. Perhaps the words of our parents, "Do not tell me NO," was with us and the shame and guilt that we need to assert our independence and on latecomers.

   Sometimes, it is important to say no. Say it is not equivalent to setting a limit on your life and tell the truth about who you are. Look at the examples below and think about how to say it is not essential to fully love yourself and others.

   "I will say no to that invitation because I have other things to happen this week.

   "No, you can not talk to me this way. Now go to your room.

   "No, I'm sad, but I'm not in the mood for sex tonight.

   "I'm not saying that a large piece of cake, because I want to lose weight.

   "No, I can not accept that promotion, because it requires a lot of travel.

   Saying we can not protect what is most important to us. He gives us freedom to make the right choices for our lives. When we can not say no, we find ourselves in situations we do not want to be in. Life becomes full of people and situations that create dissatisfaction.

   To say no

   You should not say something when you do not like. For example, if you are asked to volunteer at school, doing paperwork and administrative tasks you hate, then you should say not. Instead, volunteer to do something that better fits what you would do. When you invite a friend to see a movie you would not see, speak and suggest a different movie.

   Often our uncomfortable feelings can be a sign that we have to say no. Your intuition can send you red flags that should not be ignored. How many times have your children asked to do something that just does not feel good to you? We have a choice to trust our gut and say no or give to our children what makes happy.

   Has a loved one ever talked to you in a failure while you stayed there and just listen to them? When someone steps over your limit, it is essential to say no. This indicates that the people you value and you will not allow people to mistreat you.

   Sometimes we are the bully. You may exercise negative self talk or make choices that are detrimental to health. It is crucial at this time to practice saying no.

   Saying no allows you to protect your time. Recently, I spoke with a mother who felt guilty because she was not spending time with their children. She admitted her life was very busy with volunteer activities. She needed to say no to things that were occupying his time, so she could spend their time doing what she really wanted to do.

   Sometimes we have to say no when is the best choice for someone. We regularly need to say no to our children because they do not always know what is best for them. They do not have the wisdom and emotional maturity to make all the decisions of their lives. Even adults do not need to hear sometimes. While it may be an extreme example, consider the alcoholic who wants to borrow money to meet their addiction or compensate for their lack of responsibility. Learning to say no, we are stopping the process of empowerment.

   When your values are being challenged, you should say no. A friend of mine recently quit his job because the owner of the company was unethical. Choosing to tell a lie May not honor their need to be honest. Saying you can not live a life that is in integrity with what is most important to you.

   What you must say no to today?




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